Recently I was interviewed by Rebekah Beneteau, creator and host of Ask Me Anything Love and Sex Show. We talked about pleasurable menopause and explored some tools that anyone can use to have more fun with what occurs in their bodies. Below are some excerpts from the second half of the interview.
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Yvonne: In a hot flash one of the things that I experience is this intense rush of heat coming from my inner core, right? In seconds I can break out into sweats and my heart is rushing and I feel these fluttery feelings. It’s like Whoooooo!
One day I'm having this experience of a hot flash and I was about to whine about it because, well you know, it was a hot flash and that’s what you do. You complain about your hot flashes and you whine about having a hot flash. Then I had a flash of my own - a mental flash... Wow, if I felt this same thing during a Deliberate Orgasm I would say it was great. I would love it.
Then I thought, why don’t I love it right now? Why don’t I call it fun right now? Why don’t I feel my body like I feel my body during a Deliberate Orgasm? They don’t last that long. A hot flash is a Flash! I better catch all the enjoyment I can out of it right now or I’m missing it. That’s how it’s fun.
It happens at unexpected times though. That’s the thing that I had to get into agreement with. I didn't control or arrange anything. Those flashes happen. Here I am, I’m talking in the middle of a dinner conversation and all of a sudden I feel like ripping my sweater off. Taking my clothes off and fanning myself. Well, I can whine about it, but it’s happening right now. I might as well have fun right now because it’s happening right now.
I can let other people in on it too. I get this experience, a beautiful flush in my skin and can let it glow. I let the turn-on out during that time, ooze turn-on. Because that’s how I feel now when I’m in agreement, I just ooze turn-on. It’s so fun.
I’m not trying to pretend like I don’t have a hot flash. I’m not trying to pretend that nothing is happening. Why not turn on? That’s how I make it fun for other people is I turn on when it’s happening. I approve. I’m in agreement.
Approval, other people feel it. Other people feel me approve of the hot flash, of myself, of being a woman. You know, that’s a rare thing somebody who approves of being in menopause, being middle-aged, having things happen that are out of control, so to speak. It’s a really powerful way to live life.
I’ve taken those viewpoints that I have researched for 18 years with Deliberate Orgasm and am using them with menopause. Whipping out those tools at the time it’s happening. At the time that it’s happening I make the choice to turn-on. I make the choice right then. That’s why I say I’m just like every woman because we all have choices to make moment to moment.
Rebekah: Right. For me it really becomes a spiritual discipline and a practice. I feel like when I give into my negativity and my anger it’s easy, it’s cheap excitement and it’s lazy. It takes a little bit of work to get into agreement with how it is. To find something to approve of and yes, to go for making every moment fun and pleasurable for myself and the people around me. No matter what’s going on.
Yvonne: It does take something from an individual to do that. You said that well. I think the payoff is huge. It’s huge when you do make that choice for fun and pleasure.